I'm Allergic to Smut

(Of the mold variety.) And trees. And weeds. And basically everything else on the planet. Except food, thank God.

The doctor needed two highlighters for my sheet.

I finally stopped putting off seeing an allergist. I always had a lot of excuses - I don't want to get a referral, I don't have time to go for shots every week, I like feeling miserable six months a year because I secretly hate myself, etc. I decided that I wanted to finally get my biannual debilitating sinus infections stopped before starting work. Using a vacation day (or two!) to lie in bed while my head explodes is not high on my fun list.

I recently got new insurance that doesn't require a referral for allergy testing, so I bit the bullet and researched allergists in my new town. As there is only one in my entire county, this didn't take too long. I called and made my appointment, luckily squeezing it in a couple days before work started.

There was an initial hiccup when the doctor looked at my age and needed some convincing that I've already graduated from college. I already look like a child, having a September birthday just makes it worse by making me seem really young all the time.

I look like a child even if I wear my suit.

The first order of business was to look in my nose. After a half-second of inspection, my allergist exclaimed: "Your nose is so blue!" Apparently nasal membranes are normally pink, like fingernail beds, but the presence of allergen-fighting cells turns the membranes blue. And mine were particularly blue.

I've actually just signed a deal to do a remake starring my nose.

The allergist immediately took a sample of mucus and almost skipped down the hall to his microscope to examine it. I'm pretty sure this test was unnecessary, he was just excited to have a patient blow the criteria for allergies out of the water. He was literally rubbing his hands with glee when he came back. Spoiler alert: I have allergies. Shocker, I know.

While he was gone, I had a minute to read the "dealing with seasonal allergies" poster in the room. It was not very helpful, containing such gems as "Wash your cat weekly." Um, no.

The next step was the skin test, which I knew about from Eager Feet Dad. For those fortunate enough to be unfamiliar, the allergist loads up tubes with the allergens and scrapes the skin to inject a tiny amount into the broken skin. If you are lucky enough to be allergic to that particular substance, you get a hive. The size and severity of the hive determines where you are on the allergic reaction scale, from 0 (non-allergic) to 4+ (severely allergic). My doctor used four quadrants - both my shoulders and above both my hips, though I didn't know which quadrant had which allergens.

That ten minute test was the longest ten minutes of my life. I wasn't allowed to touch any of the developing hives, or I'd ruin the test. Thankfully there was a TV in the room to help distract me, but I was still doing an adult version of the potty dance. When my allergist returned, he asked how I felt, and I said some spots were "pretty itchy." I moved the gown back for him, and his response was "WOW! I'm surprised you're not complaining very much. You're a 4+ on most of these."

I was mauled by the allergy bear.

I sadly found out I'm allergic to cats, so Faramir is now banned from my bedroom. He pouted for a day but seems to have recovered. I also was given a heavy duty prescription nasal spray to use until the shots take effect (about two months) and instructed to buy a HEPA filter for my bedroom and possibly one for work. (Work has an open plan office, so I don't think a filter will actually be effective there.)

I've used a prescription nasal spray before, so I thought the new one would be no big deal. Shooting liquid up your nose is weird at first, but I had acclimated. Turns out this sucker is an aerosol spray.

It also looks like an inhaler, which makes it weird to jam up my nose.

It is super weird to use. The only way I can think to describe is, it feels like the equivalent of being startled by someone suddenly yelling in your ear. Not a very helpful analogy, but it's just so bizarre. The noise also freak Faramir out, which requires a minimum of ten minutes of hiding to recover from, obviously.

I was skeptical about the filter at first. What was "HEPA," and could it really do anything? I figured it couldn't hurt and picked up a small size with the special "allergy" filter at Target. I let it run on its highest setting all day. I didn't really need to go into my bedroom for several hours, and I was amazed at the difference it made when I popped back in! My room didn't really smell before, but now I immediately notice how clean it is. All the furniture in the room is wooden, and I can seriously smell it all now. Which is kind of weird, it even gave me a dream I was in the Ikea showroom again.

God himself lives in this box.

My initial treatment plan is to get shots weekly and reassess in three months.  (Which means another skin test...boo.) The clinic has some bizarre hours, but I'm lucky that they're open late once a week, so I don't have to worry about it interfering with work - which was one of my main concerns with treatment. The shots will be completely in my system by St. Patrick's Day, so, barring an early bloom, my symptoms should be drastically reduced come spring. And considering we're getting dumped on with even more snow tonight, I doubt that early bloom is anywhere close to happening.